Hi....

I know I'm a filthy liar and you hate me bunches but can we just skip all that and go right to the fun part?
Yes?
Cool.
So it's finally looking a lot like spring and with prom in the air, people are flirting their hardest and trying to get asked, that goes for both sexes mind you.
So all the douchebags at my pathetic center for education pull this pussy post it note shit where they think covering someones car with question marks or making a t-shirt, or spelling something in flowers is the way to go.  I'm here to tell you that all that is cute, but that's not anything that your prom date is going to remember.  She's not gonna remember the acne ridden boy reeking of Axe when he walks up to her wearing a prom t-shirt or she walks into a hallway where prom is spelled in M&M's.  You need to make this girl or boy feel as unique and appreciated as you possibly can, and if you don't care about making someone's day or boosting their self confidence.  Go fuck yourself.  Because that's the important shit.  That's the shit we remember.
But never fear!  Zola is here!
Here are some cute ways to ask someone to prom.
Don't be a bitch about this, the way you ask may determine if you get ass or not.

1. Chocolate Bar-Buy some fancy chocolate (Godiva, Godiva, etc.)  unwrap it as carefully as possible and insert an adorable hand-written invitation to prom.  Re-wrap and deliver!
2. Traditional Yet Classy-Make sure that you execute this in the right way to where it is not super creepy.  Wear a suit (or a dress), buy roses, balloons, chocolate, the whole shebang and show up at the girls front door.  Ask her/him to prom and give her/him all her/his prezzies!
3. Serenade-As to not embarrass the potential prom date try to do this sometime when they are alone.  Ask the choir at your school for a favor, have them sing some cheesy shit that will make ppd(potential prom date swoon), enter at the last moment and present with flowers!  Pop! Bang!  You have a date.
4. Romantic Larger Than Life-Make sure you include PPD's friends in this one because it could get sticky.  But votives (tiny candles)  and glass holders.  You don't need too many but more is better!  Spell Prom out in candles and light.  It's going to be super romantic and she/he is going to melt.  Seriously.
5. Classic Stadium-At a soccer game or whatever sport is going on right now, get on the loud speaker and make sure that your PPD is there.  Say "Blank with you go to prom with me?"  or something like that.  Just make sure know they know who you are or it could get awk.
6. Cheerleader-Ask the cheerleading team to do something like this in the lunchroom or at an assembly.  You know that annoying that shit they do when they're like "Give me an O" or whatever.  Ask them to spell prom and then say the name of the person who you want to go with.  Then you can walk out and TAAAADAAAA! 

Keep in mind that anyway you ask someone to prom is probably going to be cheesy.  So have fun with it and don't be a prick!  Don't be afraid to be the center of attention, try to act comfortable to make your PPD more comfortable.  Seriously they're not gonna wanna spend this MAGICAL GLORIOUS night with anyone who can't hold a conversation, so get out there and be confident.
J.K. The real fun part is the after parties which are usually bitchin' unless there no drinking, dancing, drama, or dirty hook ups.

Love and other things,
Zola