Fuck you mosquito

What the hell is with the mosquitoes this year?  It seems like even if I'm outside for a moment I have ten bites.  It just pisses me off that my legs are all red and welt covered, but what can I say my blood must just be that sweet.  Yesterday I was on foodgawker for like four hours and decided it was time to showcase my culinary skill by making dinner for my family.  Sounds like a fabulous idea, right?
I made this chicken and roasted garlic lasagna, it just looked so mouth wateringly good on the website that I knew I had to have it.  Well it took a million fucking hours to make and it didn't look too picture worthy but it was so yummy.  In fact I'm eating some left overs as I type this.  And for dessert I made this moist looking chocolate cake from scratch.  Jesus Christ. I'm sure he would love it too.
Let's just say my parents were very pleased, they filled up my car with gas.  Doesn't sound too cool, but it saved me fifty bucks!!!! This is where I get to the point, this school year I am challenging myself to do something.  I'm going to cook dinner every Thursday for my family.  This will surely show them that I am so responsible that I deserve an extra hour on my curfew.
Fuck yeah.
If this was a cartoon a little light bulb would have just one off above my head, but its not.  So now I sound like a freak.

Oh Shittt......

Am I the only one suffering from pre-school jitters?  You know what I'm talking about like what if everyone else got super skinny, what if my tan fades, what if I get lost , what if my hair looks greasy, what if my make up looks bad, what if my clothes aren't cute, what if my friends all hate me...
Well those may be all my very vain worries but you know what I'm talking about, this year we're stacking up on our AP's so that we can impress our college's of choice.  Everytime I think about school I get a little sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I know, every year its the same thing but when the day actually comes along we're really like 'What are we worrying for?'.  How do you deal with your pre-school jitters?  FUCK!!!!
I burned my banana bread.
And usually make good banana bread.
You see what this shit's doing to me.

Low Carb Crunch

There's eight days before the school year starts again, eight days until we lose all of our summer freedom, eight days until hell begins again.  This summer flew by faster then all the other ones, there we were packing up our lockers and snap!  We're buying school supplies, trying to figure out our binder color schemes for the year.  As a sort of summer resolution I promised myself I would lose ten whole pounds by being a health nut, but you know how that went.... And now here I am with eight days left trying to shed atleast five pounds by randomly doing crunches and sit ups and drinking obscene amounts of water.  This whole weight loss stint also requires that I give up carbs which is like the hardest thing to do in the world! I mean come on, why do all the good things have to be the worst things for you?!!! All I wanted to do was look hot in my new white Victoria's Secret Push Up Bikini and I have seven days until the pool closes.  Gotta go time for some ab crunches!!!! Fuck....
Check out this site, it literally makes my mouth water.  Like actually.  I told you I was obese on the inside.
www.foodgawker.com

Reappearance Time

So....
After falling off the map for a while during the summer and the last bit of school I am back.  Ready to become a junior and then a senior and then off to college.  Shit I'm fucking old!
Well obscenities are beside the point, and with The Real Housewives of New Jersey playing in the background and a tall glass of chilled lemon tea at my side, I think I'm ready to reopen the blogging chapter in my life.  I probably lost a lot of my readers when I inexplicably stopped posting and tweeting and stuff but I'm here to tell you that won't be happening this year.  This year is the most important year, and if I want to get into a good college its time to step this shit up.  But how fucking sick am I of people asking me what I want to do with my life.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO YOU ASSFACE I'M SIXTEEN, I  haven't even decided what I want for dinner!  As shallow as that may sound don't act like its not true.
So email me and let me know about your college woes, and if you're an older reader think back to when you were undecided and young.  Stop hating us for being wrinkle free and commitment free, and reminisce.
Kisses and other things,
Zola